Moving isn’t easy for most of us. Even with plenty of help to get us through a life-changing move, hard decisions are inevitable.
In 2022, we decided to sell our home of 13 years and move into our smaller townhouse three hours away. Because we already owned all of the furniture and supplies, there was little that we needed to take with us. In three weeks, we sold, donated, and gave away two-thirds of our belongings, acted on two pages of tasks from our realtor, and refinished our hardwood floors. Easy, right?
But it was this push that forced us to take a hard look at our material things and decide what to keep and what to dump. Here are my top 5 lessons during this transition that I hope can provide some support for those facing the same change.
Lesson 1: I don’t even remember the last time I used this vase.
Replace vase with placemats, outdoor lights, candle stands, or whatever. Once I started pulling things out of cabinets, drawers, and the garage, the questions were endless. But for some reason, I held on to everything thinking there would come a time that I needed that [insert item here].
For the few items I did keep, I’m giving myself a one-year expiration. If the ravioli maker, KitchenAid attachments, and pitchers are not used in the next year, they’re gone. That sounds like a fair wager with myself, right?
Lesson 2: How did I get so many feelings?
There was a platter that someone gave me when I graduated from Syracuse University in 2003. That platter moved with me in a car from Syracuse to Washington, DC back to California in four different homes. That platter was never used during those 18 years.
But I held on for one reason only – because a group of nice ladies gave me that as a gift for my time as an intern. It was one of 8 platters that I owned and never used. I call these guilt gifts. Between the wedding gifts, emotional hand-me-downs, and Christmas gifts, I had a household full of items that I did not use and likely did not really like. So why hold on?
Lesson 3: Someone wants it, I swear
Through local donation facilities, Facebook Marketplace, and our sidewalk, everything was picked up and nothing was thrown away. I gave piles of burlap to someone using it for fall decoration, an unhealthy pile of scrapbook paper to a mom for craft projects, 17 terra cotta pots to a neighbor is experimenting with hydrangea varieties, and 12 used pillows to a local woman making custom dog beds.
Combining two households into one benefited my mom the most — 10 baskets she’ll use for gifting items, four Pyrex dishes that will be forgotten at potlucks, and enough Tupperware to guarantee that she’ll send me home with leftovers for a lifetime. (The idea that I will have to deal with some of this stuff later has not escaped me.)
Lesson 4: What exactly is my style, anyway?
Our stuff was a collection of stuff from my first, second, third, and fourth apartment and then this house. My style evolved so much during that time but I always had this underlying guilt to get rid of anything because I spent money on it or it was a gift. So that coastal style was blending with a mid-2000s Pottery Barn modern and California cool. I was a mess.
I needed less stuff in a smaller space, making it easier to identify my design. And if a style quickly goes away, I’m not too invested in many things to switch it out.
Lesson 5: I’m never reading this book again.
We counted 319 books in our home — 95% of those books have been read and moved along with me over the years, but they looked so good in my office shelving! I built those shelves to display my books and other things, and when we lost all of that space, I had to make a decision.
I posted them on Facebook Marketplace for anyone wanting to pick select books, gave them away to friends, and then donated the remaining books to the same Goodwill where I purchased most of them. There were about 10 books that I had yet to read and they came with me, but as soon as I finished, I donated.
Lessons learned
This process of deciding and purging was a big moment for me; I wanted to do this more. I look around our current house and constantly ask myself why I’m holding on to something, what purpose it holds for us, and take the opportunity to donate or sell.
I originally published this post at Inspired Honey Bee, my first blog that is no longer available.
